


Another Lonely Night

by AlxSteele



Series: Through The Looking Glass [25]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: (mostly hurt), Alternate Universe - This World Inverted (Shadowhunters TV), Angst, Developing Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Malec, Promise, things are looking up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-08
Updated: 2016-07-08
Packaged: 2018-07-22 05:47:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7422259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlxSteele/pseuds/AlxSteele
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in the alt. world of This World Inverted: Magnus and Alec have had some ups and downs, everything is sort of a giant mess at the moment after Magnus finally told Alec the truth about what he is. Will these two idiots ever figure things out? Does Izzy have to slap them upside the head to knock some sense into them? Probably.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Another Lonely Night

**Author's Note:**

> I'm feeling overly caffeinated and sarcastic, hence the slightly horrendous synopsis. 
> 
> I was prompted for my favorite part of this one, by @danarenee101 on Tumblr. THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH for this prompt, I hope you like this one! =)
> 
> Title from Another Lonely Night by Adam Lambert

“What am I supposed to do, Izzy?” Alec asked, sitting at his kitchen counter, staring moodily at a cup of coffee.

If possible, he felt even worse. He’d left Magnus’ the morning before without talking to him. Magnus was avoiding him but Alec… Alec shouldn’t have gone over there. He should’ve insisted they talk, not climbed into bed with him — even if all they did was sleep.

He shouldn’t have gotten drunk.

Alec had spent the whole day before, waiting for Magnus to call him, hoping he would. When he didn’t, Alec resolved not to go over there again, even if it meant he didn’t get more than an hour or two of sleep. It was a bad idea from the beginning.

“Why…why’s he avoiding me?” Alec knew he sounded miserable but he couldn’t help it. He really didn’t understand. He was the one who was supposed to be angry and avoiding Magnus. He was the one that was supposed to…supposed to break up with him because of it. He was the one who’d just learned werewolves and vampires and who knew what else existed! He was the one who just found out his boyfriend was a warlock!

“I don’t know, Alec,” Izzy said softly, slinging her arm around his shoulders as she sat next to him.

He put his head down on the cool counter and closed his eyes. Alec wanted nothing more than to talk to Magnus but he couldn’t do that. Because Magnus wasn’t answering his phone. And because there was this stubborn part of Alec that wouldn’t let him go chasing after Magnus, that wanted Magnus to come to him.

“You know, you could ask mom about the whole warlock thing,” Izzy suggested.

Alec turned to look at her with his head still on the counter. “Yeah,” he said with a roll of his eyes. “That would go over well. ‘Hey mom, remember those stories you used to tell Iz and me? About warlocks? Well turns out Magnus is one of those and he’s avoiding me so do you think you can, you know, give me the details on what a warlock is?’ Something like that, Isabelle?”

Izzy laughed, shaking her head. “Point taken.”

Plus, Alec thought, Magnus being a warlock wasn’t the problem.

Alec glanced at the clock, it was almost eight, meaning Jace would be over any minute with takeout.

Alec shook his head; he wasn’t going to sit around all night again. He wasn’t going to lay in bed, moping to his siblings until they finally ditched him.

Sliding off the chair, Alec made a spur of the moment decision. “Go home and change, Isabelle,” he said. She looked up from her laptop, eyebrows raising. “Call Jace too, please.”

Isabelle closed her laptop, likely noticing the determined set of Alec’s shoulders. “Ooookay. Are you going to tell me what we’re doing?”

Alec grinned, it was a little forced but a little real too. “We’re going out. We’re going to have fun and…and tomorrow I will figure out this whole mess.”

Isabelle didn’t argue, sliding her laptop into her bag and heading toward the door. She turned back with a manic grin as Alec was heading into the bathroom. “Lightwood sibling bonding!” she hollered on her way out the door.

“Huzzah!” Alec replied.

***

“You alright man?” Jace asked, slipping into the booth across from Alec.

Alec nodded, distracted. He and Isabelle had been at the club for nearly an hour already and, in that time, Alec had only sipped on a beer—he wasn’t going to get drunk, he’d learned his lesson the other night—but he was starting to consider dancing.

Alec loved dancing, the problem was dancing at a club when you had a boyfriend but said boyfriend wasn’t present, was a shaky line. Then again, did Alec even really have a boyfriend anymore?

Shaking his head, Alec took another chug of his beer.

“Do you want to, you know, talk about it?”

Alec glanced over sharply, frowning. He looked Jace over, his brother was wearing a plaid shirt over his Java Jace shirt. His long hair flopping in his face over and over, no matter how many times he shook it away. His multi-colored eyes were solely focused on Alec, a furrow between his brows, a frown curving his lips.

Alec raised an eyebrow, staring him down. “I’m good,” he said. Talking was the last thing he wanted to do right then.

Jace’s eyes narrowed and he glanced at Isabelle, who sat next to Alec inside the booth. Izzy tilted her head, considering Alec.

“But, you know we’re here for you right? I mean…we can just sit here and drink and talk…as long as you want.”

Alec sighed, checking his hair with his phone’s camera. “I didn’t come here because I wanted to talk. I appreciate it but I’m going to go find someone to dance with.”

Alec was halfway out of the booth before his words even registered with him, but it was too late to back down now.

“Alec!” Jace called. Alec glanced over his shoulder, meeting narrowed eyes. “Are you sure?”

“It’s just dancing,” Alec called back, waving over his shoulder.

***

Alec checked his phone at the bar, filled with more hope than he meant to have. He closed his eyes, told himself if Magnus had called or texted, it meant everything was fine.

With a sigh, he opened his eyes and finally glanced at his phone. Nothing. Messages from Clary and Simon who were having movie night, Simon having sent a picture of Grumpy Cat with the message “this is u” when Alec hadn’t replied to any of his other messages. And Clary having invited him over.

Alec felt pathetic. Clary had never invited him to movie night before, it was sacred between her and Simon. Everyone was so worried about him. Like… Like he’d just been dumped. He hadn’t though, had he?

Alec rubbed his face, trying to think through the loud music and flashing lights. Just because he told Magnus they couldn’t break up…that didn’t mean they hadn’t.

Okay, Alec thought, that’s enough thinking.

He ordered a shot and not a minute later a guy slid up to him, blatantly hitting on him. Alec could practically feel Izzy and Jace watching him but ignored them.

The man looked a year or two older than Alec, maybe in his late twenties. Blond hair swooped over his forehead, bright blue eyes, chiseled jaw. Alec’s eyes moved down, taking in the rest of him. He was tall, almost as tall as Alec, more muscle than Alec’s normal type, wide shoulders, tight jeans, _really_ tight jeans.

Alec threw back his shot and took the man’s hand, leading him to the dance floor. The man shouted something about his name or maybe asking Alec his, Alec ignored him.

Despite his own words, it didn’t seem like just dancing. But, he just wanted to stop. Stop feeling. Stop thinking.

Alec faced away from the blond man, letting him rest his hands on Alec’s hips as the music rose all around them. Alec closed his eyes, let the crowd fade as strangers bumped into him left and right. The man tightened his grip on Alec’s hips and Alec danced without thinking about it.

The world faded as one song and then another and another and another washed over him. At some point, he looked up, opening his eyes to realize he was now facing the blond man, pressed close. Their eyes locked, the man grinned and leaned in.

Suddenly, Alec couldn’t breathe, his heart twisting in his chest. He jumped away from the man he’d practically been grinding against for nearly an hour. Alec didn’t say anything, didn’t even look back as he turned and rushed through the crowd.

He felt like he was going to be sick, the world was spinning. He was heading towards the doors, struggling to pull air in through his ever tightening lungs, when he heard Izzy shouting for him and turned direction, plopping back down in their booth in the corner.

He was drenched in sweat, hands shaking, his stomach heaved and he nearly puked as he rested his head on the sticky table.

Oh god, Alec thought, trying to catch his breath. This was his worst idea yet.

“Well,” Isabelle said, voice sharp and aimed to maim. Alec didn’t want to look up but forced himself too, swallowing down the shame and everything else before meeting Izzy’s glare head on. “That was a nice little show.”

“Iz—” Jace started, putting his hand on Izzy’s shoulder. She cut him off, pushing his hand away.

“No,” she said, pulling her hair out of her face and fixing her glare back on Alec. “What the fuck was that, Alec? You were practically dry humping that guy! You have a _boyfriend_.”

Alec didn’t know what happened then, the club was too loud, his head was pounding and the flashing lights weren’t helping. And he…he was just so tired and hurt, and he was tired of pretending he wasn’t. Of telling himself it would be fine, telling himself that if he just waited, and figured it all out, everything would be fine.

Isabelle was currently in the middle of one of her tirades, “I know things aren’t perfect with Magnus right now but you aren’t broken up. You’re still with him. Still in love—”

“No, Izzy,” Alec snapped, pounding his hand on the table and making all three of them jump. “We’re not. I don’t—I don’t think I have a boyfriend anymore.”

Isabelle frowned, looking from Alec to Jace and back again like she’d missed something. “What are you talking about? I know Magnus is being weird but—”

“No. He’s not being weird, Isabelle. He…” Alec took a deep breath. Telling Jace when he was drunk was one thing, but admitting to Isabelle that Magnus had broken up with him? That felt too real.

“He said we should take a break, Izzy. He doesn’t…he doesn’t _want to be with me_.” Alec wanted to say it calmly, with no emotion, like he didn’t care. Instead, his voice broke and tears threatened before he could push everything away again.

Isabelle moved quickly, putting her arm around his shoulder. “What happened? Why didn’t you tell me?” her eyes were wide behind her glasses and she couldn’t hide the flash of hurt that Alec hadn’t told her, making him feel even worse.

Alec took a ragged breath, looking down at the table. “It was that night…after you… I thought he was just pushing me away but… Maybe he never loved me. Maybe…maybe that’s why he never said anything.”

Alec couldn’t breathe. He hated feeling like this. Like he was as breakable as everyone was acting like he was.

Izzy was shaking her head, biting her lip. “No. That doesn’t make any sense.”

Alec ignored her, reaching for Jace’s untouched beer. “Sure it does. But, it doesn’t matter. It happened. It’s over.”

“No. I refuse to believe that.”

Alec’s stomach turned over, his head spun, he set Jace’s beer back down, untouched. He needed… He needed… He didn’t even know.

“I think…I think I’m gonna go,” Alec said, standing suddenly as the room narrowed in around him.

“Alec,” Isabelle started, moving to stand.

“No,” Alec said, waving her away. “It’s fine. I’m just tired. I’ll - I’m just gonna go get a cab.”

Alec pushed through the crowd until he was back outside. Leaning over his knees, trying to breathe. Izzy and Jace followed him out silently.

Hailing a cab, Alec climbed into the back — the smell of the cab nearly making all the effort he’d used not to throw up useless — and gave the man Magnus’ address.

Isabelle and Jace, sitting on either side of him, shared a silent look but stayed quiet. It wasn’t until the cab pulled up out front that Alec realized he couldn’t go there. He stared at the place on the sidewalk where Izzy had nearly bleed out, trying to breathe.

Jace finally gave the cabbie a new address, ignoring the confused look the driver gave him.

“Alec,” Izzy said softly. Alec tilted his head towards her but she didn’t say anything else, simply grabbed his hand. Alec rested his head on Jace’s shoulder, closing his eyes until the cab pulled up outside his apartment. He insisted to Jace and Izzy that he was fine, sending them away and stumbling upstairs to his apartment. Alec let himself in, heading to the kitchen where he chugged three bottles of water in a row before heading to the bathroom.

It was while he was washing his hands that he saw it. Small. Black. So many fucking legs.

Alec only just managed not to screech, biting back a whimper.

Why did it have to be a spider? Why tonight?

Alec surveyed his options. It was small, right on the wall near the door. He couldn’t just leave it. First of all, it could attack while he passed. Secondly, he’d never be able to sleep, knowing it was there.

Alec breathed deeply, steeling himself. Reminded himself that he, Alec Lightwood, was not a coward and would not be beaten by a tiny spider.

He definitely yelped as he hit it with a shoe, over and over again. And then one more time. Just to be sure.

Back in the kitchen, Alec shivered, deciding it’d be best just to throw the shoes away, now that they were contaminated.

His phone buzzed on the counter and he grabbed it, heart soaring and then dive bombing. Not Magnus. Just Jace and Izzy, making sure he was okay. He texted them quickly and then, before he could change his mind — not that his mind was really working very well at the present time — he called Magnus.

***

Magnus knew he shouldn’t answer the phone, but he couldn’t help himself. It was two in the morning and he couldn’t sleep, and he really, really wanted to answer it.

He grabbed the phone from the bedside table and crawled out of bed. He paced back and forth in the hallway, debating it. The phone stopped ringing and he stopped breathing.

Turning to Church, who’d been pacing with him, Magnus frowned. “Well, there’s that.”

He jumped, dropping the phone with a little screech, when it started ringing again.

Magnus glared at Church who was clearly mocking him, waving his tail like that.

Magnus couldn’t help himself, snatching the phone up again. “Alexander.”

"There was a spider. You were supposed to kill it. You said you’d kill all the spiders for me." Alec’s voice came through the phone, barely loud enough to hear, but the underlying anger was clear enough. “You _promised_.”

Magnus’ heart shrank as he crashed back against the wall, unable to hold himself up any longer. This, Magnus thought, was why he wasn’t good for Alec. He’d broken so many promises, most unsaid, like that he wouldn’t lie, that he’d be there.

“Why are you avoiding me? Why are you trying to break up with me? I just… I don’t — I don’t know what’s _happening_ , Magnus.”

Magnus could picture Alec, slumped against the wall, swallowing over and over like he did when he was overly emotional. Running a hand over his face, eyes closed. “I just… I thought we were going to talk, going to fix things.”

Magnus couldn’t say anything, could barely manage to breathe. Church watched with narrow eyes like he knew exactly what was happening.

“I don’t even _care_ , Magnus. About the magic. I just… I want you to tell me…everything. I just want us to be together. Why don’t you want to be with me?”

Magnus slid to the floor slowly. Alec stopped talking but they could hear each other breathing over the phone.

“I don’t fucking _care_ ,” Alec repeated, mad but not yelling. “But… You don’t get to just pull away and not even tell me why. If you don’t want to be with me, tell me. Tell me why. Tell me why you were ever with me if you didn’t want to be.”

Magnus breathed in raggedly, heart shriveling in his chest.

“You owe me that, Magnus,” Alec continued. Magnus closed his eyes, forcing himself to listen to everything Alec had to say. “You owe me an explanation. I know—we both made mistakes but you can’t just… You can’t _do_ this.”

Alec’s voice got louder, growing frantic the longer Magnus remained silent, just letting him go on. “It’s not fair and… It _hurts_ ; you’re hurting me…”

Magnus opened his mouth, he needed to say something, _anything._ His throat ached, hands clenched into fists, gripping his thighs, nails digging in, grounding him. Say _something_.

Alec beat him to it. “Just…please, Magnus. _Talk_ to me. I won’t give up but just — stop hurting me. Just… _stop_.”

The line went dead.

Magnus stopped breathing.

He sat there for what could’ve been hours or days even, phone still pressed to his ear like Alec would come back, take back what he said. Like Alec would come back and Magnus could fix this because… Because this wasn’t what he meant to do.

Magnus didn’t know what he was doing anymore. He’d thought pushing Alec away was the right thing. Still thought that. How else would he stop hurting Alec? But…he’d never imagined it would feel like this. Like his heart had been torn from his chest and was being stomped on in front of him.

He didn’t think the thought of Alec — Alec’s eyes wide and surprised, filled with pain he didn’t see coming — would make him want to curl up right there on the ground.

Magnus let his head bounce lightly against the wall behind him, closing his eyes tightly until he felt something move past him.

Church approached him cautiously, rubbing against his leg. Magnus glared. Church rubbed his head against Magnus’ foot, again and again. From a cat, that was supposed to equal a hug. Magnus continued to glare, blinking back tears he refused to shed.

“Go away,” he said. It wasn’t vicious like intended, but broken.

Church jumped on his legs that were spread out in front of him. “You’re heavy,” Magnus deadpanned.

The cat ignored him. Leaving his hind legs on Magnus’ lap, Church put his front paws on Magnus’ chest, rising to rub his head along Magnus’ jaw as he leaned back against the wall, as far away from the cat as he could get.

“What are you doing?” he asked the demon as it started to purr. Purr? Magnus put his hand on Church — slow and careful so he wouldn’t get it bitten off — to double check, he hadn’t been aware of the fact that the demon could purr.

Magnus would expect this…comfort? from Chairman Meow, but with Church, Magnus honestly feared for his life. The cat had been out to destroy him since Magnus rescued him. The only person Church had ever liked was Alec…

Magnus stopped, slowly moved his hands away from the fat purring demon.

“You little demon, are you going to kill me? Is it because I screwed up everything and scared him away?” the words broke on a sob that Magnus did his best to swallow. He closed his eyes tightly. He’d screwed up, so much. There was no fixing it. He didn’t deserve to cry over it though, it was all his fault.

“He’s not coming back, Church. Just get it over with.”

Church continued to purr, moving to curl up in Magnus’ lap. Making him feel even worse.

“Do you miss him too?” Magnus asked softly. He wasn’t being fair, it was his fault Alec wasn’t there. His fault for not telling him. For ignoring him. Pushing him away.

Chruch rubbed his head against Magnus’ hand. Apparently, the cat wasn’t a demon after all. Magnus had always had a fond love for Church but he’d honestly thought the cat hated him. He couldn’t even enjoy this because all it made him want to do was call Alexander and gloat that Church loved him just as much as he loved Alec.

 “It’s too late…”

Church whacked him in the chest with his tail.

“Yes, it is,” Magnus replied. Church smacked him again. “It…it wouldn’t be fair. I—I broke up with him.”

Church bit the hand that was petting him but Magnus didn’t pull away. He knew what he wanted, more than anything, he wanted Alec. But he… He couldn’t be selfish enough to ask for it, to go after it…after everything he’d done. Could he?

***

Alec was miserable for a whole new reason when he woke up the next morning. First, he’d barely slept the night before, he’d been too angry, too wound up, and now his head was pounding. Second, he remembered as he dragged himself into the shower, he’d done worse than shown up at Magnus’ drunk. He’d called Magnus and he’d actually answered.

Alec winced, he couldn’t only vaguely remember all he’d said, he’d just been so angry, spewing thoughts. But there’d been this feeling like he was drowning and he couldn’t breathe and the only way to get air back into his lungs was to talk to Magnus, to yell at him.

And Magnus hadn’t said anything at all.

Alec slumped into the kitchen where Jace waited, having let himself in.

“Rough night?” Jace grinned.

Alec glared but made no sound. He sat down heavily on a kitchen stool, resting his pounding head on the counter. He really needed to start sleeping more.

Jace gave him a muffin and a cup of coffee.

“So, what are you going to do?” Jace asked and they both knew he didn’t mean what Alec had planned for the day but what Alec was going to do with the disaster that had somehow wrecked his relationship.

“I don’t know…everything’s just gotten so…messed up. It’s confusing,” Alec said, helplessly.

“Well…uncomplicate it. What do you want Alec? Whatever it is, just…go get it.”

Alec stared at Jace like he’d transformed in front of his eyes. “Did Isabelle tell you what to say?”

“No,” Jace scoffed. “Jerk.”

It wasn’t that simple, though. It didn’t matter what he wanted if Magnus didn’t want the same.

***

Magnus looked up from behind the counter as the door to his shop was thrown open. It was the first day he’d opened that week, and, so far, a dozen or so customers had stopped in. Magnus was expecting just another one of them. What he wasn’t expecting, was Isabelle Lightwood, dressed in her normal jeans and a shirt that said: “You sunk my battleship”. That was what he got, however.

Magnus froze, the potions he’d been inventorying a mess on the counter, the pen he’d been chewing on hanging out of his mouth.

“Magnus,” Isabelle grinned, striding forward.

Magnus had to remind himself that he was a warlock, he could handle an angry, overprotective sister if she’d come to make good on her promise of breaking him if he ever broke Alexander’s heart. Magnus kept trying to remind himself to think of Alec as Alec, but…Alexander kept slipping out.

“Isabelle,” Magnus made himself say. “How are you?” he asked, sending a small wave of magic out to check on her injuries, something he should’ve done last week. Had it only been a week since that night? Had it really been so long?

“Great!” Izzy replied, stepping around the counter.

Magnus took a step back and she laughed, rolling her eyes. “I’m not here to hurt you,” she said, stopping. She tilted her head, scrunched up her nose. “That’s not to say I couldn’t, just because you’re,” —she lowered her voice, widened her eyes— “Magical.”

Magnus let out a snort, rolling his eyes.

Isabelle stepped forward suddenly, pulling him into a hug. “Thank you, Magnus. Thank you for saving me and… for saving Alec.”

Magnus didn’t have to ask her what she meant, well aware of the fact that had that night gone any other way, had Isabelle not made it…she wouldn’t have been the only casualty.

Magnus breathed slowly. “Of course,” Magnus said. How could I not? he thought.

Isabelle pulled back. Looking around, she cleared some of the potions away on the counter and pulled herself up to sit, letting her legs swing freely.

She turned to him, turning serious as her legs stopped swinging. “I have a lot of questions but…you need to talk to Alec first. He deserves answers, Magnus. More than me. More than anything.”

Magnus’ pulse raced, blocking out most the sound in the room. He turned his back to Isabelle, repacking the potions he’d been inventorying. “I know,” he whispered.

“You know… You know he understands, right? He doesn’t care.”

Magnus turned around, hardly daring to breathe. He really hated heart to hearts, he never knew what to say. He shrugged, not willing to meet Isabelle’s gaze.

“He _doesn’t_ , Magnus. He’ll…he’ll understand everything. Even you pushing him away.”

Izzy jumped down, angry when Magnus still refused to say anything. She glared at him, hands on hips. “You love him, don’t you?” she accused.

Magnus jumped at the harsh tone and pointed question. He turned to her, so fast he nearly dropped the potion he was holding. “Of course.”

“Then why are you ignoring him, when you should be fighting for him?” she glared.

“Fighting for him?” Magnus repeated.

“Yes!” Isabelle threw her hands up, exasperated. “Talking to him! Explaining things. Making it so he has no choice but to listen, to try again. If you love someone, Magnus, you don’t just…let them slip away because you made one stupid mistake.”

Isabelle was getting worked up, pacing. “It was stupid; you know? You should’ve trusted him, trusted what you had… You can’t lie to him anymore, Magnus. Never again. Alec… he doesn’t do well with lying. He never has.”

Magnus tried to force himself to talk but Isabelle didn’t seem to notice that he was incapable of speaking. “You’re both idiots, I hope you know that. Idiots who need each other…” Isabelle’s voice trailed off, she turned to pace to the other end of the store, mumbling to herself.

“He’s miserable, Magnus. And…it’s all your fault so you need to fix it.”

Magnus stopped breathing. Something about hearing someone else say the words he’d been telling himself, made it so much worse. She was right, though. He’d ruined it. He was hurting Alec, even now.

Isabelle glanced at her watch. “I have to go. We’re having coffee tomorrow, just me and you. I need details. You better have a plan, and don’t be late.”

She was halfway to the door when she turned and marched back to Magnus. For a second, something like worry mixed with terror flashed through her eyes.

“I have a question, though…because Simon mentioned… And Alec said… Werewolves,” Izzy started, darting her gaze away from Magnus and fiddling with her thumbs.

Magnus waited, watching her take a deep breath before turning to face him again.

“I was bitten,” she said softly, eyes flashing fiercely.

It took Magnus a minute to figure out what she was trying to ask, when he did, he was quick to reassure her. “You’re worried you’re going to turn?”

Isabelle nodded stiffly. “I mean…that’s how werewolves are made, isn’t it?”

Magnus nodded. “And it’s still possible, though unlikely,” Magnus clarified quickly. He reached out, magic dancing along his fingers. Izzy took his hand and Magnus let his magic out, running over her once more. “I was able to stop the…poison, I guess you would call it. You were already rejecting it and there aren’t any signs of it remaining.”

Izzy let out a long, relieved breath, nodding firmly. “Good. That’s good.”

Taking a deep breath, she pointed at him, glaring suddenly. “Don’t hurt him again,” she spat the words out before her eyes went soft. “Stop being stupid. I’m your friend so I can tell you this. Stop being stupid, because you are and if you don’t stop… You don’t want to lose him forever, do you?”

***

Magnus’ four hundred years had not prepared him for Alec Lightwood. Alec Lightwood with his charm and his good looks. His endless flirting and teasing that never stopped, not even when they were officially together. Alec Lightwood and his endless confidence. Alec Lightwood with his bright smile, the one he only ever gave to Magnus. Alec... _Alexander,_ with the way he could say nothing at all and still make Magnus lose his breath.

Magnus thought he’d been in love before but…somehow it all paled in comparison to this. This…pain and joy. This thing that made him breathless, that gave him the same butterflies he’d gotten when he first saw Alexander, every time he saw him, even after months of dating. This constant need and want to always be close to him. For his whole day to brighten with just the thought of seeing Alec later.

Nothing had prepared Magnus for this, for telling him the truth and pushing him away because he didn’t want to hurt him…and because he was four-hundred-years old but still scared to feel so much for one person.

 Magnus didn’t know what to do anymore. He knew what he wanted, but it was selfish, and he didn’t want to be selfish with Alec anymore. It’d been selfish not to tell him, to cling to things the way they were and not tell him everything as soon as he knew how he felt. He couldn’t do that anymore.

But, hadn’t it been equally selfish to push him away before he even had a chance to figure out his own thoughts and feelings?

“Why are you ignoring him, when you should be fighting for him?”

Isabelle’s words twirled in his mind as he put together a spell. He’d never tried something like this, but he figured it should work.

***

Alec opened his door in the morning on his way to work. He was up early because he was so behind and Clary’s mom’s surprise anniversary party was getting closer every day.

He almost didn’t see it, turning to lock the door behind him. It wasn’t until he looked up that he noticed the small blue envelope with his name — Alexander, not Alec — written in swirling handwriting.

Alec’s heart stuttered, skipping around his chest. A tingle went through his fingers as he grabbed the small envelope. Inside, was one thin piece of paper, no more than a dozen words written on it.

_I’ve taken care of the spider problem. The spell’s temporary, it will only last a month._

Alec knew Magnus, so he could picture him pausing before turning the paper over to scrawl on the other side. Alec turned the paper over slowly.

 

_Just tell me when it needs to be redone. No more spiders, I promise._

 

Alec grinned, tucking the envelope into his pocket, shaking his head as he headed downstairs. Something in his chest felt lighter suddenly and the feeling lingered all day.

**Author's Note:**

> *grins* So, any thoughts? Looking, we're making progress! Also, I wanted to reassure everyone that I'm not going to drag the angst out forever, I promise. It's ending. It's ending. Also, I have a sort of secret project I'm considering...but I won't say anything yet. ;)
> 
> Tuesday! Next update! Possibly Monday if I feel like it and you ask nicely! =)
> 
> Thanks for reading lovely biscuits! As always you can yell at me on [Tumblr](http://imawriteriwrite.tumblr.com/)!  
> <3<3<3


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